Error loading page.
Try refreshing the page. If that doesn't work, there may be a network issue, and you can use our self test page to see what's preventing the page from loading.
Learn more about possible network issues or contact support for more help.

Thirty-Thousand Steps

A Memoir of Sprinting toward Life after Loss

Audiobook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

After Jess Keefe ended things with her long-term boyfriend, she moved in with her brother Matt in hopes that family could help her not only heal from the break-up but also evolve into a healthy adult. But that fantasy ended when Matt's heroin addiction came roaring back after lying dormant for years, leading to a fatal overdose on a warm October night.

Thirty-Thousand Steps is a powerful and transformative memoir that interweaves the author's obsessive training to becoming a distance runner, along with her singular, focused research into the science of addiction in the shadow of grief after the death of her brother.

In the year that followed Matt's death, Jess lived alone for the first time in her life while struggling with a loose, bereaved mind. She became obsessed with what happened to her brother and how things could have been different. She dove into research about addiction and drugs. She excavated their shared childhood and young adulthood for clues.

During this time, she was also learning how to become a distance runner. Jess pushed her body to its limits to quiet the chaos in her mind. After losing Matt, she knew she'd never be the same.

With a propulsive narrative, a unique voice, empathy, and even humor, Jess weaves her grieving experience together with explorations of the social, political, and scientific drivers that influenced what happened to her brother. Thirty-Thousand Steps explores the psychosocial risk factors that lead to addiction, the cudgel of Catholicism, the joy and shame in the early-aughts queer experience, and the extent to which one can push mind and body to regenerate after a major loss.

  • Creators

  • Publisher

  • Release date

  • Formats

  • Languages

  • Reviews

    • Publisher's Weekly

      October 3, 2022
      Essayist Keefe debuts with a moving memoir about how she took up long-distance running to cope with the death of her younger brother, Matt, from a drug overdose. She discusses Matt’s efforts to beat his heroin addiction, the emotional toll it took on their family, and her frustrations with the medical system’s tendency to moralize instead of administering effective treatment. She weaves reflections on her life with Matt into descriptions of the arduous training regimen she undertook after his death to prepare for the Brooklyn Half Marathon, an endeavor she took on to get her mind off of her brother. She describes the churches she passed on her runs and reflects on growing up Irish Catholic, telling how she drifted away from her faith in early adulthood because she disapproved of antigay churches and relating her brother’s skepticism of the religious elements of Alcoholics Anonymous. As well, there’s a harrowing and intimate account of finding Matt overdosed on the floor of his bedroom, her panicked call to 911, and the futile effort of the EMTs to save him. Keefe’s remembrances of her brother are touching, and her explanation of the science of addiction and medical professionals’ failure to treat it as a medical condition and not a personal vice give broader context to Matt’s story. The result is a poignant exploration of addiction and loss.

Formats

  • OverDrive Listen audiobook

Languages

  • English

Loading